Between Streaks of Moonlight
by moonbird66
Summary: The war is over, Remus is dead. Hermione has a secret that everyone is waiting to hear. This is her story, starting from the moment she found out his condition, up until the very last embrace. Hermione/Remus, Harry/Hermione. THIS STORY IS ON HIATUS.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey! So I've decided to try myself at a mult-chapter fic this time. It's my first HP one, so I hope you all will be gentle on me. Plus I don't have a beta for this fic. So if any of you would like to offer, just message me or something. I'm already half-way done with it, so all that's left is the updates. **

**This story is slightly AU. It is compliant to the books and movies in some ways, but I managed to tweak a few things on my own. I'm rating it M for future chapters. There's some Minor experiences - but the lemons don't begin till Hermione is sixteen, almost seventeen. So just keep that in mind. This is not a happy fic. If you expect butterflies and rainbows, I urge you to leave now. Plus, anyone who doesn't like Ron bashing or Tonks bashing, this is not the fic for you. **

**DISCLAIMOR: I don't own anything, just the plot. The rest belongs to the legendary, JKR. **

* * *

><p>Hermione couldn't breath. An intense pain had stabbed her in the heart, and she almost thought it was literally at first. But before she had enough sense to hold herself back, she threw herself at his body.<p>

She didn't care that they were staring - that was the least from her mind, at this time in her life. He was dead, gone, deceased from the world, never allowed to hold her in his arms again. Never allowed to make love to her, or kiss her lips, or run his fingers through her hair. Hermione would miss that most of all. The way they would linger and tangle in her curls…

She clung to his chest, not daring to let go, as tears ran down her cheeks and soaked through his ratty clothes. Everything about him, what she remembered, what she thought, what she _loved _ran through her mind like a speeding train. A hint of guilt passed along, when she parted her eyelids to see his wife laying beside him. She choked, and tears filled the spaces that she could see and everything was a blur once again.

"Hermione…" She heard her name called behind her, but didn't dare look to see who it was. She couldn't stand letting him go. Letting his body leave hers, knowing they would never touch each other again. Hermione thought about this, and did something she never thought she would never do; lifting her head, and peering at his scarred, weary face, she pressed her lips to his, and cried harder than ever.

His lips were cold and dry, but she had to feel him again. She parted, not getting his usual, passionate response that she was so used to.

"Hermione, we have to go," It was Harry, and he knelt beside her, grabbing her shoulders, trying to lift her up.

She swatted him away. "I can't! Please!" She was begging not to be moved. Hermione laid there sobbing, clutching his shirt. Harry's arms had wrapped themselves around her, trying to pull her up - "Hermione, you're going to get yourself killed, now move!"

Hermione was finding herself being pulled from his body, and into Harry's arms, and she replaced her grip on the ragged old clothes, to Harry's sleeve, still weeping, still holding her breath. Her screaming and pleading had stopped; now she held still, silently letting the tears stream down her cheeks. She had to get revenge. She had to do this for him, and for herself.

"Where's Greyback?" she said coldly to Harry.

"He went into the Forest with the - Hermione!"

But he was cut off, as Hermione ran from the Great Hall and out onto the grounds, heading straight into the forest, with Harry running right behind her. He wasn't very far behind to hear her cries and her pain.

She had gotten deep into the woods, not listening to Harry calling back at her. And there, standing in front of her as if teasingly, was Fenrir Greyback. Her mind snapped at his delicious smirk.

"You bastard! You foul creature!" Hermione was running towards him, screaming, tears still on her damp face.

"What did you expect, dearie?" Greyback cackled at her, but was cut off as a stunning spell hit him straight in the heart. He howled in pain, as the deathly, lethal look in Hermione set him on fire. There was pure anger and agony in her eyes; a mixture Harry had never seen before in Hermione. She wanted him to suffer the consequences.

"_Crucio!_" Hermione screamed, and Greyback was on the ground, writhing and twitching beneath her. She was torturing him, the feelings inside her being displayed before her eyes. Hermione felt powerful, she felt revengeful… like something inside of her had shattered all goodness inside her soul.

Harry ran in front of her, and snapped her wand out of her hand. "_Expelliarmus!" _

"Move, Harry!" She yelled, running to pick up her wand. Harry was quick though and grabbed it before she could. "Harry, he killed Remus! He _killed _him!" There was pain and agony in her words, and Harry felt her loss.

But she couldn't do this. He couldn't let her turn like this, dark and dangerous. Harry felt this way when Bellatrix killed Sirius, and he would do anything to help these feelings surpass Hermione.

He gave her wand back and whispered into her ear.

"Together."

* * *

><p><strong>DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! :) <strong>


	2. Chapter 1

Everything was peaceful.

In a few hours, the funerals for all those that died in the war, would take place at Hogwarts, and the time for recovery would begin for the future of the Wizarding World.

Harry couldn't get the images out of his mind. The Resurrection Stone, his parents, Sirius, and Lupin; their ghostly figures at his side helping him defeat the Dark Lord. He couldn't shake the thoughts of Hermione. Her shaking body, her shallow breathing and her tears seeping through Lupin's stiff skin. The way she held him, the way she _kissed _him.

Everyone at Grimmauld Place was quiet and mourning their losses. But yet, there was an unspoken question throughout the house - was there something between Remus and Hermione?

She hadn't left her room since they arrived; her, the Weasleys, Harry, and remaining members of the Order. No one was in the mood to celebrate the end of this war, of course, but they all managed to find their way around the house, getting fresh air and spending time with the people that were still there in their lives. Hermione didn't want any part of this.

Harry could sometimes hear her crying from his room. When he would see her come out to take a shower or use the bathroom, she didn't speak to anyone. She refused the food that was being brought up to her, and when Mrs. Weasley insisted, she just left the tray to sit in the corner, untouched.

He had to do something. The tension in the house between Hermione and the rest of them was becoming too much. Harry needed to see what went wrong, and if the rumors are true. He needed to help her, but he couldn't when he knew nothing.

"Harry, would you be a dear, and take this tray up to Hermione." Mrs. Weasley's voice was stiff. She had grown impatient with the 18 year old girl, and was still disapproving with the sight of her lips against Lupin's.

Harry grabbed the tray of food and proceeded up to the 3rd floor of the house. He knocked softly at her door, then spoke. "Hermione, it's me. Mrs. Weasley asked me to bring you lunch."

"I'm not hungry." Her voice was soft, but painful to his ears. He could sense the pain and torture she had felt seeping through her words.

Harry sighed. "Then can I talk to you? Please,"

He heard a shuffling of papers, and the creak of the bed as she got up and padded her way to the door. A lock was undone and she opened the door, slowly.

Hermione's eyes were red and puffy, as were her cheeks. Tear trails were stained on her face, all the way down to her neck. The sight of her killed Harry.

She let him in, and watched as he sat the tray on the vanity and looked around her room. Her untouched food from breakfast was still laying in the corner, and Harry made a mental note to take it down to Mrs. Weasley later.

Scattered on her bed were a bunch of papers, all from small pieces of parchment to several pages folded together. "What are those?" He asked curiously, though he had a feeling.

"Nothing." Hermione replied shyly, and scrambled back to them, hastily trying to organize and put them away.

Harry decided to answer his question by himself. "They're letters. Hermione, be honest; who are they from?"

Hermione let out a snort. "None of your business, Harry! Please, just let me be."

Something inside Harry made him desperate to know, but again, his instincts told him a lot. He ran over to Hermione and grabbed one out of her hands, and read it aloud - "_Hermione, you don't know how sorry I am for ignoring you. But my dear, you have to understand; I'm much too old and you're much too young…"_

"Harry, please!" Hermione yanked it back out of his hands and set it in the pile on her bed. "How _dare _you? That is my business, not yours."

'Hermione, I know that was from Lupin. You have to tell us what happened, so we can help -"

"I don't have to tell you anything, Harry James Potter." She shaking, just slightly, but she looked stern. "Now, please, leave me alone."

He wanted to know, though. He was desperate to find out, so he could help her get through this. One more day of seeing her tears and he would have to hurt himself, or simply lose his mind.

But he knew he wasn't going to win. With a sigh, Harry walked towards the door, not looking at Hermione. He grabbed the doorknob and just as he was about to shut it, he heard a soft whimper behind him. "He meant so much to me, Harry. I _loved _him, and no one seems to understand my pain."

Harry turned around to see Hermione on the floor, staring at the palms of her hands in her lap. Her soft, honey curls cascaded around her neck and shoulders, and something had made Harry's stomach tighten in a knot.

He took this cue as the final moment to talk, and shut the door to keep intruders out of their way. He walked towards Hermione and knelt beside her. "Then help me understand, Hermione. So we can get through this, together. Just like you always said, before - we're in this together."

Her chocolate brown eyes were welding with tears again, as they peered through his emerald ones. Taking a deep breath, Hermione stood up and sat down on her bed, scooting the letters out of the way and motioning him to do the same. Harry sat down and waited for her to start, giving her as much time to recollect her thoughts.

Hermione was searching through her letters for a couple of seconds until she found the right one. Smiling as she skimmed over it, she handed it over to Harry. "He's the one who actually started owling me first. This was right after 3rd year." She noticed his shocked expression and shook her head. "No, nothing happened just yet. But I did sort of have a crush on him that year. I imagine he was just grateful for me keeping his lycanthropy secret from everyone, even though Snape spilled his secret anyway. You remember 3rd year… when we met both Remus and Sirius."

Harry felt something wrench at his heart. Even though it was 2 years ago, he still couldn't get over Sirius' death. And now Lupin… it was all too much to handle at the same time. But he continued to listen to Hermione. She needed this - someone to vent to.

"Why don't you just start from the beginning Hermione…" Harry suggested.

Hermione nodded and took the letter from his hand. She cleared her throat, opened her mouth, and began her story of how her and Professor Lupin became the most secretive book held in her life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've decided to go ahead and upload Chapter One. I'll be doing this frequently because I already have most of my story done. Tell me what you think! I love reviews :)**


	3. Chapter Two

**a/n: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all the subscriptions and reviews and favorites :) I really appreciate it. Here's chapter two, I hope you enjoy it. Most of it will be in Hermione's perspective, as she is the one telling the story, but I'll have some from Remus's perspective as well, to give the story more depth and understanding of his feelings. I promise, that as the chapters continue, everything will become more interesting. **

**Thanks so much again for the feedback :) Please review, they are love to me and encourage me to update more often for you guys. I'd love to hear what you guys think of it. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Five years earlier…<strong>_

Hermione studied the moon cycle over and over again, then decided to look at her list of symptoms, to make sure she had collected all the data she needed.

It was unbelievable. The boggart turning into a floating orb, the monthly absences all centered around the full moon, Snape giving that essay - it all came together. Her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, was a werewolf.

_Surely Dumbledore knows, _Hermione thought. Of course he knew. Dumbledore wouldn't literally put them in danger, if he knew Lupin was a werewolf but was unsure of whether he would cause harm to the students. And surely he must know of Lupin's fantastic abilities to teach, which is why Dumbledore must have offered him the job.

Hermione's brain was in a jumble. Her new profound information on her teacher must be kept secret; if one student knows, then other _certain _students would know, and then Professor Lupin would most likely not have a job anymore. She couldn't do that to him. He was too good of a teacher, and too good of a person to deserve that. Hermione knew how most wizards viewed werewolves - half-breeds, filthy, dangerous, unequal, should be kept under control… she almost felt a connection. It was almost the same views they had toward muggle-borns.

She closed her textbook and stuffed the parchment inside the pages. Hermione couldn't tell a soul, not even Harry or Ron. She would try and go to Professor Lupin tomorrow and see if he would just tell her himself. It would be their little secret.

The bell had rung ever so loudly in her ears. "Hermione, are you coming?"

Hermione put her book in her bag and turned to her two best friends. "I'll just be a minute. You guys go on without me, I'll catch up." She gave a smile at them, and waited until they left her alone in the empty classroom. As the door shut, she took a deep breath. She needed to confront him about it, let him know she knew about his secret. Hopefully he wouldn't be _too _mad at her, but it was so obvious, she was surprised no one else had figured it out yet.

When she turned around, however, he was already standing in front of her, smiling. "Hermione, did you need something?"

Hermione looked up at him. His smile was… beautiful, radiant. And his eyes looked right through her; the grayish blue sparkle making her weak in the knees. She smiled back, then said nervously, "Oh, Professor… I was just, um -"

"Everything alright, Miss Granger?" He held a steady hand on her shoulder, concerned.

Hermione took a deep breath. She had to get her thoughts in order. "Yes, I just had a question regarding a previous lesson we had earlier in the year."

Lupin raised an eyebrow at her. "Alright, then. Go right ahead."

"Remember when we did the lesson on boggarts?" he nodded in reply.

She had to get this over with. "Well, I'm not sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me, but when you ran in front of Harry to protect him from the dementor… I could've swore that boggart turned into a- the moon."

There was something about the expression on Lupin's face that told her, her assumptions were correct. He seemed lifeless for a moment, pale even. Suddenly, his eyes shifted down at her, and a weak smile formed on his lips. "Miss Granger, have you been drinking too much butterbeer? That's completely preposterous - who would be afraid of the moon?"

"Werewolves." She replied bluntly.

Lupin sighed. Hermione felt herself blush, embarrassed by her straight forwardness. She hadn't meant to frustrate him.

"Yes, well, that's a wide assumption, I must say. Hermione, I'm afraid you'll have to leave now, I have a lot of work to be done." He left his presence from her, and proceeded to his desk, pretending to shuffle through papers.

Hermione's eyebrows furrowed together. "But, Sir-"

"I said leave." His voice was cold as stone and hit Hermione like a brick. She felt untrustworthy to him, and that's all she ever wanted; was to be trusted.

She gave one last look at him, his back turned to her. Then, she left. What she didn't see was the moment he looked back, wondering if her heart was as broken as his own.

There was horror and shock mixed in the dusty, creaking room, and Hermione wasn't the only one who could feel it. The brotherly hug between the person she trusted most, and person whom she loathed the most was stirring in her mind. Everything became blurry and unreasonable and just plain crazy, until Hermione let her mouth slip open.

"NO!"

Everyone turned to look at her but she didn't care. She held his secret, his most prized secret, and here he was, turning his back on Harry… turning his back on her.

He stepped forward in front of her, and peered down into her deep, brown eyes. Hermione felt scared for a second or two, but remained calm nonetheless.

"I trusted you. And all this time I've been covering for you… you've been his friend." She sneered towards Sirius' direction. She was ultimately disgusted with the situation. He wanted to betray Harry; well, she could do the same to him.

"He's a werewolf!" Hermione spitted, pointing a shaking finger at him. "That's why he's been missing classes!" She felt completely dominant at this point, as both Harry and Ron looked at Lupin with complete shock.

A small smirk appeared on her lips as Lupin narrowed his eyes at her. "How long have you known?"

"Since Professor Snape set the essay."

He laughed and scoffed at her, as if her secret information was merely childish. But proceeded to tell her, "My, Hermione you really are the brightest witch of your age, I have ever met! However, you must let me explain myself -"

"What is there to explain? Your as much guilty as he is!" Yelled Harry, pointing at Sirius.

"No, Harry, you must listen, he isn't guilty! I thought that as much myself, until I had reason to believe otherwise." Lupin said, reasonably.

"You betrayed us!" Hermione yelled, small tears forming in her eyes. "You helped him into the castle!"

Lupin, frustrated, grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Hermione, please, you must listen!" But Harry had pushed her back away from him. "Don't you touch her!"

With a pointed wand at Lupin's throat, he proceeded to speak calmly, but cautiously. "Harry, someone did tell Voldemort where your parents were, but it wasn't Sirius. It's someone whom until quite recently, I believed to be dead."

"Who was it then?" Harry demanded.

"Peter Pettigrew."

Hermione waited by the door for Harry to return, so the two of them - along with Ron on crutches - could head off to breakfast, and get ready to set off for home as their 3rd year came to an end.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Harry strode on past her, muttering only the words, "He's resigning." for her listening ears. She watched as he headed off the Great Hall without her, Marauder's Map in hand.

Resigning? This wasn't because of…

Hermione let a gasp slip, as she rushed into the DADA room and ran up to Professor Lupin's office. As she approached his door, she stopped and took a couple of seconds to take in the closing of suitcases, and folded clothes sitting neatly on his desk. The man himself was standing in front of her, assorting books into a trunk. "Ah, Hermione. How pleasant to see you." He said, smiling at her, eyes twinkling nonetheless.

"You're resigning? This hasn't anything to do with me knowing has it?" She asked incredulously, hoping this wasn't any of her fault, but feeling guilty either way.

He chuckled and shook his head. "No, I don't believe it was you. However, a certain _Professor _as you might say, has let slip of my condition and well, parents wouldn't want someone like me teaching their children."

"But that's not fair!" She exclaimed, but feeling a little bit embarrassed by the loudness of her voice. "You're the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had! People can't possibly be as prejudice as to rid you of your job!"

Lupin smiled. She was always so caring and passionate, and he remembered how much it showed in his class. "It's great to hear you say that Hermione, but I'm afraid, not everyone is like you. I'm used to it though." He gave a flick of his wand at a suitcase and watched it close by itself.

He didn't notice Hermione blush at his words, and she was thankful for that. "Professor, I wanted to apologize for my spite at you… in the Shrieking Shack. It was wrong of me to sell you out."

At this, Lupin walked up to her and leaned back against his desk for support. "That's big of you, Hermione. And I apologize for almost killing you in the Forest." He smirked at her. "But how could I resist the call of such a bright, young lady."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. "Professor?" She didn't know whether to be offended or flattered at his words.

"When you called to me, while I was transformed. Although I was unaware of my actions at the time and had no control over myself, I do require memory of what happened. And you howled at me to get my attention, saving Harry."

This was all recollecting in her memory. "Oh, right."

"Hermione, that was very brave of you, protecting your friend." He smiled, seeing her beam up at him. "Forgive me if this is uncomfortable for you, but you remind me so much of Lily, Harry's mother."

Pink rushed to Hermione's cheeks. "That's very flattering, Professor."

Lupin laughed. "Please, call me Remus, seeing how I'm no longer your Professor."

She nodded politely at him.

"Of course," he continued, "if there is anything you, or Harry need, feel free to owl me at no cost. I'm willing to help with anything." He wrote something down on a piece of parchment and gave it to Hermione.

Tucking it safely in her pocket, she spoke before deciding to leave. "Thank you, Remus."


	4. Chapter Three

**A/N: Hey! Thank you for the reviews and the ton of subscribtions and favorites I got for this story :) Thank you all, so very much. They make me more eager to continue with this story, than abandoning it. **

**This is more of a filler chapter. I'll probably update the next chapter later on, just because I know you all won't want to wait a long period of time for such a short chapter like this one. Things will start getting intense for Hermione and Remus after this. Sorry again, for the shortness. **

**Btw, I've decided to use the mermaid's song that was in the golden egg from the movie and not the book, Goblet of Fire. I did this simply because it was shorter and kinda sum'd up the longer version that was in the book. Just thought I'd let you know incase there was any bashing on how un-compatible I am to the books :P I'll be pulling excerpts from both series throughout my story. If that's a problem, get over it, because I'll write it the way I like ;)**

**Disclaimer: JKR is the true genius. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present day…<strong>_

Hermione wiped a small tear starting to roll down her face, but a smile present on her lips. The memory was so vivid in her mind. The way he looked at her, and held her gazes, it was very intriguing as a young 13 year old girl.

She almost had forgotten that Harry was still in the room, until she heard a small cough. Looking up, she caught his eye, and wondered where she would go next in her story. She then shuffled through her letters, looking for the right ones. She held them in her hands, before continuing. Hermione looked at him, making sure he was still interested in listening.

"So, did you owl each other over 4th year?" Harry asked curiously. "I mean, is that how it all began? He owls you, and all of a sudden there's a spark between you two?"

Hermione listened to her thoughts speak, before she opened her mouth. "Well… I wouldn't say that. It started off very innocent. Like a mentor/student relationship at the least."

"What did his letter say?"

She picked up the first piece of parchment in her pile and handed it to her friend. "He basically just asked me simple questions… "how has your summer been?" "How are Harry and Ron?" "Excited for your 4th year?" That sort of stuff. I can tell you I wasn't at all impressed at first, but it was sweet of him to think about me, so I replied back."

Harry read the letter and sat it down. It was such a boring "Let's catch up" letter, he almost felt sorry for Lupin at that time. "Hermione, I think he had a weird crush on you."

Hermione laughed, and blushed at the same time. "Yes, I thought so too, but you know, I really could've cared less. Ron was being a prat at that time, and quite frankly, I was excited about the attention."

Harry frowned a little bit at the thought of Lupin advancing on a 14 year old girl, but shook the images away, ready to listen to Hermione continue. "Okay, but if anything get's weird, just let me know ahead of time before you say it."

She smiled. "Not yet, but it will come sooner or later, Potter."

_**Four years earlier… **_

She looked outside her window, and took a wild guess on how cold the temperature was, along with added wind chill. She didn't want to go all the way up to the Owlry just to check for her long awaited letter; but she didn't want to miss it either. So without hesitation, she put on her coat, scarf, hat and gloves and headed towards the grounds.

Hermione felt the bitter cold air nip at her little showing skin, and thought anything would be better than this. But it might just be worth it depending on what his owl brought her this time.

Finally, after walking up the thousands of icy stairs, she made it inside the cozy, yet filthy, Owlry. She looked around, until she saw the familiar old barn owl, its feathers soft and chocolaty brown. Tied around its ankle was a folded up, square piece of parchment. Hermione untied the string and opened the letter, holding her breath, excited for what she was about to read.

She sighed of relief, glad of who it was from. This is what it said:

_Hermione,_

_Merry Christmas, my dear, I hope things are going well for you at Hogwarts. I know they should be, for someone as bright as you. _

_Now, about this egg - come see us where our voices sound, we cannot sing above the ground: Mermaids. This was relatively easy to figure out. When above water, a mermaid's voice sounds identical to the screeching Harry heard when he opened the egg at first. But when under water, it sounds very angelic; similar to what Harry heard when he placed the egg underwater. An hour long you'll have to look, to recover what we took: The mermaids have a possession that he must recover. The only potential problem I see in this task is how Harry is going to be able to hold his breath underwater for an hour. There are numerous charms and plants that could help: The bubblehead charm, gillyweed - probably the most common. Talk to Neville about herbs and such. He has such a knack for Herbology, I think he could solve this problem. _

_Hermione, I must issue you to be careful at these times. I fear for your life as well as Harry's. His name being chosen was not an accident. It was set up by someone very dark and dangerous, and most likely living within the school grounds. Take caution, my dear, and hopefully I'll be hearing from you soon. _

_Very sincerely yours,_

_Remus_

Hermione couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He was brilliant, and she couldn't help but feel an intellectual connection with Remus. He was the only one that understood her, didn't think her knowledge was for show but for practical, reasonable use. He admired her, and she loved the attention to say the least.

Heading back to the common room, she couldn't wait to tell Harry about her new suggestion on what to do for the second task…

_**Present day…**_

Harry looked incredulously at the letter. "So, Miss Know-it-all had gotten other resources, has she?"

Hermione glared at him. "It helped you through the Triwizard Tournament, did it not?"

The smirk on Harry's face faded, when he realized she was right, yet again. "Yeah I guess so. But still, I can't believe that whole time you've been getting information from Lupin and didn't tell me about it. Why were you hiding it from me?"

She sighed. "I was afraid you'd think it was weird. Me, writing letters back and forth to our ex-professor. Tell me that strikes you as… odd."

Harry grimaced. "Yeah, you're right about that one."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Hermione, you in there?"

It was Ginny. Hermione got up and opened the door for her. "Hi Ginny. Harry and I were just talking." She was afraid now, that the young red-head would become jealous.

"Oh. I was just wondering where you were," she said, nodding towards Harry. "What are you all…"

Her voice trailed off as she noticed all the letters scattered around Harry and Hermione. "Is this about you and Lupin?"

Harry looked over at Hermione, as if expecting her to get angry and start snapping at his girlfriend. However, she just remained calm, and addressed Ginny with the utmost respect.

"Yes, I've - Well, Harry came in to bring me food and I just got carried away. I wanted to vent to somebody." Hermione admitted, then noticed the gaping look on Ginny's face. "Please don't go and tell the others what we're doing. I really didn't plan on telling anyone, Ginny, but Harry's my closest friend and I couldn't let it hide forever. I just need to take a step at a time."

Hermione seemed like she was about to plead and beg Ginny, but a smile told her everything was going to be okay. "It's alright, Hermione. I understand. You two continue on, I'll just -"

"You can… stay, if you want." Hermione said reluctantly. She wanted to trust Ginny, and honestly she would really be needing a girl companion for the next part.

Ginny squealed a little bit as she shut the door and rushed over to Hermione's bed and sat down next to both of them.

Giving herself another deep breath, Hermione continued on in the story, preparing her for where her pain really began to start.

**REVIEW! :D**


	5. Chapter Four

**A/N: I told you, I'd update soon ;P So, I hope you've enjoyed the last chapter, now here's chapter four. Dunno when I'll update next, but it shouldn't be terribly long. Please review they are my motivation to continue writing this :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Three years earlier…<strong>

Hermione watched as each member of the Order of the Phoenix came in the house, one by one. She sat at the foot of the stairs, seeing unknown people for the first time. Some of them smiled at her, or said hello as they passed; others, completely ignored her. Severus Snape was one of those people. So was Mad-Eye Moody.

The past few days she had been at number 12 Grimmauld Place, Hermione ultimately felt ignored. She couldn't imagine what had gotten her to think these thoughts; maybe it was just everything going on, not being able to see Harry and talk to him, or perhaps not hearing from Remus these past few weeks. The last she had tried to keep contact with him was when she had informed him of Cedric Diggory's death. From there, well, all he had to say was that he was very busy. Hermione felt unwanted, unneeded, and unprepared to what was going to happen.

Then suddenly, as if out of the blue, a girl about 7 years her senior, appeared in front of her with hair as pink as a flamingo. "Hello! You must be Hermione Granger. Molly and Arthur told me all about you."

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Um, hi. I'm sorry, but I don't know you." But she stuck out a hand anyways and shook the older girl's hand politely.

The girl giggled at Hermione. "It's alright. Name's Nymphadora Tonks. But everyone just calls me Tonks." She smiled down at Hermione and Hermione let a slip a smile back. Then, as if all her letters were answering her prayers, who should interfere but Professor Lupin himself.

"Alright Tonks, lets get a move on." He joked to the other girl.

Tonks waved to Hermione then smiled at Lupin. "Of course, Remus."

Lupin stopped short in front of Hermione. She looked behind him and noticed he was the last one to arrive._ Resting an arm on the doorframe, a hand in his pocket, he smiled at the young girl. She's changed, _he thought, as if this was a good enough reason to see her like this. Of course, he knew it wasn't and he couldn't help but letting his mind wonder to the sick, perverted fantasies he's been hiding inside his soul. Or the wolf's soul, that he wished.

Remus cleared his thoughts. This was wrong. No matter how close the full moon was, it was no excuse to place an unachievable desire on the innocent girl. He saw the long awaited look on her face and realized he had been staring at her without saying a word. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare." He replaced his embarrassment with a soft smile.

Hermione, however, seemed a little upset. "I don't know how you can, there's not much to look at."

Lupin raised an eyebrow, confused at her words. "Hermione, are you alright? Is something bothering you?"

Hermione shook her head, but she knew she was unconvincing. Seeing this on Remus's face, she proceeded to tell him what was on her mind. "It's just… I - Oh, I don't know. I just seem to go unnoticed by a lot of people. It's not that I expect all the attention on me, but maybe a compliment every now and then would boost my spirit a little."

He saw her pain. She was feeling neglected. He couldn't help but feel something similar a time or two, being a werewolf and all. But he could recover, he knew that. Hermione… well, he couldn't bear but let her soak in the thought that no one cared about her. He peered inside the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, and held up his index finger at Sirius. "One minute," he whispered before sitting down next to Hermione, on the staircase.

Remus heaved a sigh, and rested his arms on his knees, calloused hands barely touching Hermione's soft, small ones. Never, in the letters they had sent in the past year, had she said anything so vulnerable and personal. It touched him, really, that she trusted him and felt close enough to tell him how she felt and what was on her mind.

"Hermione, don't you think for one minute that none of us don't appreciate you. You're the brightest student I've ever had, and you are so mature, way beyond your age. More than once Harry has told me how brilliant you are, how much he has needed you these past couple of years and the years before." He felt bold, and placed her small hand between both of his. He could vaguely see small tears starting to form in her eyes.

His heart was singing at the sight of her, but kept a calm, steady voice. "There's more to you, Hermione. When I taught you, you have proved to me how uncommonly kind you are, and passionate you have become. Even when knowing my condition you kept it to yourself, and didn't see me as…. Well, as a monster…" he took a gulp, not sure if he should continue saying what he wanted to say. But he did, knowing she would understand what he meant as just a compliment on her behalf. "You are a beautiful person, Hermione. Both inside and out."

She looked up at him, small, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. It pained him to see her like this, but he knew it was just his words bringing appreciation from her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but someone had interrupted.

"Remus, we have to - Oh," The pair tore apart from each other, and looked up to see Sirius with delicious smile on his lips. "I'm so sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, but Remus we have to get a start on the meeting."

Remus nodded and turned back to Hermione. "We'll talk later, okay? Cheer up, love." He patted her knee, and stood, following Sirius into the kitchen.

Hermione stayed there, however, unsure of what just went on. He told her she was brilliant, kind, _beautiful. _She had never felt this good about herself in a long time. But she wondered… was he playing tricks on her? _He would never do that, _her thoughts told her. But she couldn't help but think that maybe he wasn't the person she thought he was. And she couldn't help but feel slightly victimized by his advances on her - a fifteen, almost sixteen year old witch, bright and brilliant as she maybe, but still she was only fifteen. And he was… well she wasn't sure how old he was, but too old for her, she knew that.

* * *

><p>It was only a day after that, that Harry arrived. While, excited and happy she was to see him, Hermione felt he was distancing himself from her and from Ron. She was always eager to know what he was thinking, what his thoughts were, and right then she wanted to know about what he thought of Voldemort's return. He wouldn't say anything though.<p>

This bothered her, but she was still determined on helping him through all this, gaining all information she could on the Dark Arts. Thankfully, Sirius had shown her his enormous library, hidden deep within Grimmauld. The number of books must have been up to nearly 600, and she couldn't help but let a squeal of excitement slip past her tongue. He told her all about them, how they came to ownership of the Black family, and what their significance was. It made her heart swell up with joy, just seeing them all, waiting for her delicate hands to start turning their pages.

She scanned each title carefully, making sure there were no curses waiting inside, even though Sirius had assured her he already took care of that. Still, she couldn't be too sure. This was her new favorite room inside the immensely huge house; frequently Harry or Ron or anyone else for that matter, would find her locked away in here, sitting on the divan, books surrounding her in piles as she looked through them, scanning the pages word for word.

One day as she held her eyes upon an old book that seemed to go on about ancient rituals for sucking out souls, the door had swung open, causing poor Granger to jump in her seat. "Oh, Remus! It's just you," she breathed.

The former Professor chuckled as he watched her continue on in her reading. "I see Sirius had shown you his famously dark library," He couldn't help but notice how cute she looked reading, books surrounding her, engulfing her with their charm.

Hermione nodded at him. "Yes, dark indeed. I've never seen such horribly intelligent books in my entire life. They're all… so wicked."

Remus took this as conversation, and walked inside, closing the door behind him. "Well, the Black family is known for wicked magic. Sirius is by far most unlike any of them of course. Him and Andromeda, Tonks' mother. What my concern is why someone as innocent and pure as yourself would even consider reading one of these ghastly things." He picked up one of the books laying beside her and made a face at it.

She snorted at his words. "I am _not _innocent and nor will I ever be pure." Remus couldn't help but smile at how stubborn and strong-willed she was. "Besides, since when have I ever said no to a book?" She looked and smirked. Of course she could feel him watching her, she wasn't an idiot.

"Remus," she said, suddenly getting serious. "Now that Voldemort's back, you don't think there could be another war, could you?" The question had been pondering her mind the last few days. She knew Harry had been thinking the same question, but he had never bothered to ask her about it. So she decided to take the matter to someone who would listen.

Lupin thought over this, then answered; "It feels like, it could happen. Just like it did the first time. But all matters have been discussed within the Order on what we should do, and I think it's best to leave it up to us."

Hermione scoffed at him. He was treating her as if she was a child! "I am not a child! I am perfectly capable of leading my ideas inside the Order as well as you do. Don't pretend you don't know that Harry, Ron and I are more than willing to fight." She stared at him with hard, cold eyes, as if trying to hit him with her lethal look.

He knew she was right. How could he not notice her and her abilities? But she was too young. Her life was not worth giving up for this, unlike him, who had lived long and was ready to die. He suddenly had the huge urge to protect her. "You're right. But I'm not going risk seeing you killed, when you have a perfectly long life ahead of you, Hermione. Just give it some thought, okay? Before you go and decide to fight a war that hasn't even started."

"I already have, and I'm staying by Harry's side till the end." Hermione said this with no hesitation and pure dedication. He could only feel a swell in his heart, seeing how loyal she was. Just like Lily.

_She's not Lily, and you're not 15. Stop dreaming, _he told himself. Sighing he shifted his concerned face into a soft, sad smile as he stood up and headed to the door. He needed to talk to someone about this. And he could only think of one person who would understand, besides the one he had suddenly started falling hard for.

* * *

><p>"Ah, Moony, are we playing teacher today? It seems you've been having some fun lessons with Miss Granger…"<p>

Remus spun around to see his best friend smirking at him. He had only walked out of the library to go and find the very man who was waiting for him. "Not funny, Sirius." he said seriously.

Sirius pouted. "Oh, c'mon, Remus, I was only joking. But speaking of which, what has been going on? I invite you to stay at my home and you play the "shoulder to cry on" for our little bookworm. Should I be concerned?"

The werewolf sighed. "Well that's what I was going to talk to you about. Sirius, she's fifteen and yet, I can't stop thinking about her," he whispered in a low, meaningful tone. He couldn't help himself. Even if it was just the two of them standing there, alone, he had the strange feeling someone was always listening. Deciding this was not exactly the best place to discuss this, Remus pulled Sirius into an empty room, and one he believed was an extra study.

Once inside, he sat Sirius down in one chair and him in another, and proceeded to tell him all about his mixed feelings on Hermione. "She reminds me so much of her, Sirius. Can't you tell? How brilliant and kind and gentle she is; very loyal and brave. Lily was the exact same way. I can't stop comparing Hermione to her. It's strange, how much I seem to be wishing for her these days. And I always see her as Hermione. I can't get it out of my head. I'm afraid that's the only reason why I'm so fond of Hermione and I'm afraid if I take things into a more intimate and personal level, I'll only be doing it to get every piece of Lily that I can find out of the poor girl. Oh, help me Sirius."

Remus rested his head in his hands, unable to look at his best friend. He was ashamed. He was victimizing this poor girl for his own selfish needs. And yet, he still could only imagine the pieces of Lily as only a personality; it was Hermione's face that he thought about at night, Hermione's voice that he could hear whispering back at him.

Sirius seemed to be pondering over his thoughts. "There isn't anything about Hermione that in her own self you can find? Everything there you see as Lily?"

Remus thought for a minute, and then proceeded to speak. "Well, no. The way she reads and how bright and brilliant she is. I think that comes from herself not as a piece of Lily. She's not a know-it-all though," -he ignored the snort from Sirius that told him he thought otherwise- "She's wiser, and practical and calming… almost like she puts you in a sort of trance. The way she speaks when she tells you about something she believes in… it's full of passion and hope and… Oh dear, God what am I doing?" He had gotten up to leave, but Sirius had blocked his way out.

"No, Remus. You have to let it all out now, before you go and place something harmful on an innocent girl. I know how much she reminds you of Lily - I see it in her myself. But that being said, there are things about Hermione on their own that you alone can't help but admire and feel attracted to. Remus, she's fifteen not thirty. She may act beyond her years, but that doesn't excuse the fact that you're twice her age and she's illegal to have. Understand?"

The wolf in him growled, daring Sirius to tell him again what he can and cannot have. Then, he quickly realized what he was doing, and stopped before things got dangerous. Sirius was right. She may be a resemblance of someone he couldn't have before, but that didn't set apart the fact of her age and her future. He couldn't do that to Hermione; not when she has so much to look forward to in her lifetime. The last person she could ever want would be a dusty, dull werewolf, trying to find the person he once loved inside of her.

* * *

><p><strong>AWW! Well, you can obviously tell, things are going to start to progress ;D Sirius such a helper. I hope he doesn't seem too OOC, but I just wanted to emphasize the relationship between him and Remus and what his involvement in this story is. As you can see, there's a little RemusLily going on here. I know there wasn't any romance in Remus's friendship with Lily, but his speech in the movie about how Lily was there for him in a time when no one else was, just stuck in my head when writing this. So therefore, I created Remus once being in love with the very lovable Lily - cause it seems like everyone wants a piece of her... lol. **

**REVIEW! :D**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, here's chapter five :) I hope everyone enjoys it and please, read and review. **

**There's Minor warnings in this chapter (minor, as in age-wise not quantity) but nothing explicit. Just keep that in mind. Hermione may seem a little OOC (and perhaps Remus as well…) but it's my story and I can do whatever I want with it :P**

**Thanks again to all my faithful readers and a subscribers. Please, again, if you could kindly send me a review, I would very much appreciate it :) **

_**Three years earlier…**_

What was she thinking? Remus couldn't possibly want an immature schoolgirl like her. She was a know-it-all, after all with nothing to look at but bushy hair. Hermione sat the book down, unable to read it. All she could manage to think about was her former professor, who had just left the room. The way he smiled at her, the way he had full concern in his eyes, telling her how he couldn't bear to see her killed. It was… sweet. But unbelievably ridiculous, nonetheless.

Then, she heard the voices. His voice, and Sirius. They were talking, quietly at first and Hermione ignored her urge to eavesdrop, seeing how it wasn't any of her business and nothing that needed to be addressed to in her ears. But the talking grew louder, more intense. Were they arguing? Hermione looked around the empty library, and decided against her better judgment.

Putting the book down, she walked over to the wall in which she could hear their voices coming from and pressed her ear to it. The first thing she could hear, shocked her.

"…_How brilliant and kind and gentle she is. Very loyal and brave. Lily was the exact same way. I can't stop comparing Hermione to her. It's strange, how much I seem to be wishing for her these days. And I always see her as Hermione. I can't get it out of my head…."_

Hermione gasped. She couldn't seem to get her thoughts in focus, she was too speechless. All this time he had been looking at her, he had been seeing… Lily? He wasn't in love with her. He was in love with parts of her that seemed only to remind him of the love he (she figured) once lost.

"…_There isn't anything about Hermione that in her own self you can find? Everything there you see as Lily?" _It was Sirius this time.

Hermione waited. She held her breath. Of course he only saw Lily. There was nothing about her own self that he could possibly be interested in.

"…_Well, no. The way she reads and how bright and brilliant she is. I think that comes from herself not as a piece of Lily. She's not a know-it-all though…" _

Hermione rolled her as she heard Sirius snort.

"…_She's wiser, and practical and calming… almost like she puts you in a sort of trance. The way she speaks when she tells you about something she believes in… it's full of passion and hope and…"_

Was he talking about her? Hermione wasn't sure. But she could feel a lump forming in her throat. All of this, about her, was coming from Lupin. _Professor _Lupin. A man who was twenty years older than her, a man who made hardly any money, a man who was part _wolf._ She knew his lycanthropy wasn't a problem for her, but still. It was all too much to take in at one time.

She heard shuffling of feet as Lupin cried out in frustration. Suddenly, Sirius's voice came in to play as he sounded demanding and serious. No pun intended.

"_No, Remus. You have to let it all out now, before you go and place something harmful on an innocent girl…" _

Where on earth were they getting this innocent thing from?

"…_I know how much she reminds you of Lily - I see it in her myself. But that being said, there are things about Hermione on their own that you alone can't help but admire and feel attracted to. Remus, she's fifteen not thirty. She may act beyond her years, but that doesn't excuse the fact that you're twice her age and she's illegal to have. Understand?"_

She understood. She understood for him, even if he may not completely. But Sirius was right. As much as they may be compatible, or attracted, there were things about them that made a relationship strictly forbidden. The age difference, was perhaps the biggest concern. She felt a ring of disappointment throughout her body. She wasn't surprised though. The past two years, she could tell how much she has become attached to Remus. As a professor, as a mentor, as a friend. He was always there for her, he always knew what to say and he always made her feel… attractive, and beautiful and smart. Not a know-it-all, not bushy-haired, not ugly.

Hermione sighed, completely frustrated with herself and her feelings. It was a good thing to have Sirius around. He would show each of them the light of things, and the reality of what they were doing and how dangerous it is. She decided to put all the books back up where she got them from and headed to her room, to soak in her thoughts and theories of the day.

* * *

><p>He avoided her, like an infectious disease. Hermione would have said something if it wasn't for the moral wrongness of what she was wanting to accomplish from it. But she missed him. She missed talking to him, and hearing his thoughts. It was lonely without Remus.<p>

The next few days have been torturous. He barely even said hi, and she tried to make it seem as if everything was okay. But she couldn't lie. She couldn't help but feel that restrain on her heart from the temptation that she's been dreaming of. As the full moon drew nearer, he had became more angrier, more distant.

But yet, more eager. Eager to walk right up to her, and do the most horrible, disgusting things he's been wishing to do since the night they saved Sirius. Remus would watch her when she walked, when she smiled, when she blushed, thinking of plenty of other things he could do to turn her cheeks pink. This was the wolf talking, not him. This was his animalistic urges coming through to his normal, human self. He would never do these things to Hermione. But the other side of him would.

The letters finally came in, and each Hogwarts child looked over their list of things they needed. "Well, looks like another trip to Diagon Alley." said Mrs. Weasley with a sigh. "But we can go tomorrow, I'm too tired to shop now."

"Thank goodness," Ron mumbled under his breath. Hermione laughed softly at his usual laziness.

And then, there was a sudden form of jealousy brewing inside Lupin. The way she had touched his arm and laughed at him. He wanted to run across the room and grab Ron by the robes…

This wasn't him. No, he was just speaking through his other self. But how many more times could he make this excuse? _Not too many, _he thought. He had to stop torturing himself though. Pushing himself away from Hermione these past few days have caused nothing but anxiety and agony on his behalf. But he had to. Sirius was right about everything. She doesn't want him, and he can't have her. She was too precious to mess up with his dirty, unforgiving self. He was a lewd old man, and she was an innocent young girl. Too pure to taint.

Remus needed to speak to her, it was practically killing him. He would control himself, he knew it. No matter the urge, no matter his condition, a talk with Hermione would solve everything and that was all he was going to do.

* * *

><p>"You look very pretty today,"<p>

Hermione turned around. She knew that voice all too well, but she still wanted to match the face with the voice. Remus was standing in the doorway to her bedroom. She had left the door open, wanting to listen to the hustling cheer from her friends. It was a warming sound she was used to and it made her feel happy inside.

She smiled at him and his compliment. "Thank you. And you don't look half bad yourself," She thought about her appearance first - all she was wearing was a faded pair of jeans and a soft floral blouse, that seemed to flow off her body. Her hair was in a messy bun, strands cascading around her face and neck. It was a simple look, yet delicate and pretty. It felt good to hear that he noticed.

Remus looked like he always had - rugged, manly, bookish. But she loved it on him. Today he wore trousers, like always, with a plain, button-up white oxford that framed his light muscles and lean body. Still, he was handsome as ever and the smile on her face couldn't have agreed more.

He laughed lightly. "That's pushing it, I believe. But thank you anyways. Listen, I wanted to talk to you…"

"If it's about you ignoring me these past couple of days, then please explain. I'm curious as to know what I did to deserve it." Hermione's voice was hard. She couldn't help feeling hurt though, even if she knew why. But as far as he knew, she hadn't heard the conversation he had between Sirius, so he still should have said something. Hermione's thoughts jumbled up, as she confused herself.

He sighed. "Hermione, I'm sorry. I couldn't help but feel the other day of how much you had reminded me of Lily…" She kept her back to him, not able to look at him, even though she's heard all this before. "…It was wrong of me. I felt like that was the only reason I was around you all the time. I didn't want you to think that I don't like you, for who you are."

Hermione turned to face him. "So, the only reason you like me is because you think I'm a lot like Lily?" She had meant to make those words sound painful, and truthfully, they were.

Remus quickly took back what he said when hearing her voice, and pulled her close to him, so she would listen. "No, listen to me. I realized that those were only pieces of you. There's so much more about you, than just a memory for me. You're smart, brilliant, passionate. But, Hermione, I can't look at you that way. I'm old, and you… well, you have you're whole life ahead of you. I realized that what I feel, isn't appropriate. At least not now. Do you understand?"

She did, she really did. But something about understanding that what both of them felt was forbidden, had made her angry and sad. Little prick of tears formed in her eyes and Remus saw them, immediately closing the space between them with a warm embrace. She hadn't meant to get all teary eyed, but she couldn't help it.

"Don't cry, love. I just came to apologize, that's all. I'm not going to ignore you any longer, I promise."

Hermione's small hands clutched to his shirt and the small tears had fallen from her eyes and soaked to his skin. She felt like an immature little girl, vulnerable and small.

The wolf inside Remus was gone now, leaving only his alive, human self to comfort this girl. The wild thoughts that had gone through his head earlier, had deceased to something more gentle and calming. They were only days away from the full moon, but he still managed to find that self-control that was usually gone by now. Hermione had somehow managed to tame him, the first and only person in his life to do so.

Her cheek parted from his chest as she looked up at him. "You don't have to do this. I can understand if you didn't want to speak to me. Reliving her memory must be sad for you."

"Hermione, you don't understand. I don't want to ignore you, it was heartbreaking as it was. I love being in your presence. Because of Hermione, not Lily."

She felt that urge again. The one that told her that moral thoughts were useless, and made her forget what was right and wrong and told her to focus on what felt _good. _Hermione pushed herself away from him, not trusting herself. But Remus seemed to think other wise.

He was drawing closer to her, feet pressed against each other's. He couldn't help himself; here she was in front of him, vulnerable and upset. Hermione needed comfort. She needed his comfort. She needed him. He could feel it. Everything about her told him the same thing over and over again: _kiss her, kiss her! She wants it, and you know it. Take advantage._

He shook these thoughts. They weren't him. They were the wolf, picking on this poor girl who's done nothing but see past that wolf and accept it. _And she's going to accept it. She's going to love it._

He tried to stop himself. But his feet were growing closer to her and he was sitting her down on her bed and he was sitting with her. Her eyes peered into his, looking confused and worried.

_She's just playing tricks. She wants you, Remus. She wants you to take advantage of her, dominate her. _

Remus didn't think much more after that. He placed his hands on her cheeks and did just as he had been planning to do all along. His eyelids were heavy, and his lips parted as he pressed them to hers, listening as she whimpered in his mouth.

Hermione felt completely weak as he started off gently at first, experimenting the soft touch of her lips before going deeper within. Her hands guided their way up to the ones he had on either side of her, holding on to his calloused, rough fingers.

Everything she felt of him was warm, yet rough. His face scratched hers, clues that he hasn't shaven recently. Once his tongue slipped it's way in, she tasted him for the first time. It was like drinking in hot cider on a cold day; sweet, spicy, chilling and sensual. He adventured her mouth, getting drunk off of her innocence and youth.

Hermione let him continue, feeling no wrong or right in the act. All she felt was how good he made her feel. The hands that held her still were traveling down her neck, and wrapping themselves around her waist as he pulled her closer. Suddenly, it clicked.

Her hands let go of him, pushing their bodies apart. Her eyes seemed to comprehend it all. He was taking advantage of her. She felt completely foolish. "Why are you doing this?"

He didn't know what to say. _Because I want you in my bed. I want to make you moan and writhe beneath me… _Okay he did, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I was just -"

"Get out, please." She felt hurt, and mistreated. He shouldn't have done that, and he knows it, too. All she wanted now was for him to leave

"Hermione-"

"Please!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: OOOH! Cliffhanger ;) PLEASE REVIEW :D 3**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews/subscriptions/favorites. I may not be able to update as much anymore because my laptop crashed and wiped my hard drive :/ thankfully, I had my entire fanfiction folder saved on a flash drive and I'm still able to continue my updates and continue my writing. But it will be very periodically, and over time, seeing how my computer doesn't work properly anymore. Anyways, I'll try as often as I can to finish my story and keep it updated. **

**I hope you enjoy this short chapter :) I'll update the next one after this in a short while. Thanks again. Don't forget to review!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present day…<strong>_

"Why did you ask him to leave?" asked Ginny, curiously.

Both Harry and Hermione looked at her, like she was really asking this question. "Because, Ginny! I was hurt. He deliberately took my moment of weakness and used it against me. Not only that, but he used his lycanthropy as an excuse."

"Well, Hermione, that does help in his poor decisions…" said Harry reasonably.

Hermione shook her head. She knew this, but still… "He doesn't have to use it all the time. And how do I know whether it really is his lycanthropy kicking in, or if he's just telling me that so I won't be as upset?"

"Because you and I both know that Lupin was not like that."

The room was silent. Hermione felt ashamed of herself for arguing, especially when the person who had once taken advantage of her, was dead. And she knew that he wasn't the only one who had done that against her. She too had taken advantage of his state, teased him almost when she knew she shouldn't have. All in all, she shouldn't be blaming him for all their unresolved romantic problems.

"I was foolish though." She admitted, resuming. "I think I was just putting all the blame on him, when I actually felt good about kissing him. I loved it, actually. I wanted it to continue into something further, but I knew it was wrong. I think that's why I stopped him."

Harry sighed. "Nothing like morality kicking in at the last second to ruin everything."

Hermione smiled at his words. "Yes, well, it kicks a bit late sometimes doesn't it?"

Ginny and Harry looked at her, expecting her to realize what she just said. "Oh, no! I didn't mean… Not then at least." She smiled deliciously, remembering back to the first time they did. But that was too far ahead from where they were now in the story.

Both of her friends sighed in relief. "That would have been painfully awkward to hear," said Ginny. Hermione and Harry laughed.

"So, what was it like, kissing him?" Ginny now said, with a more girly tone to her voice. She was clearly interested in hearing about this romantic forbidden love between her best girl friend and her former professor.

Hermione sighed, dreamily. "It was fantastic. He was soft and gentle, but passionate. Oh, and he tasted great. Like… cider…"

"Okay, that's enough." said Harry, awkwardly. "Hermione, can you just continue with the story… So what happened after he left? Did you guys talk at least?"

Hermione's face went from dreamy to serious, remembering what it was like after that kiss. Completely awkward, sad, lonely, depressing… she felt isolated.

"He didn't write me at all when we went back to Hogwarts. He ignored me, just like before, even though he said he wouldn't. I felt stupid and gullible…. Then, he wrote me out of the blue, right before Christmas vacation." Hermione pulled out another letter beneath her pile. She looked at this one a bit more attentively. His words seemed to have etched themselves across her face, showing expression after expression; from anger to sadness, to passion. She passed the letter to Harry and Ginny.

_Hermione,_

_I need to apologize for my behavior and I will try my best to gain your trust and your friendship back, before we meet at Grimmauld Place for Christmas. You don't know how much I've been hurting not hearing from you, not keeping my word. But you know, it is what's best. I was so afraid of talking to you before, that I thought it would lead us into trouble. And I was right. I couldn't hold myself back and I kissed you, and now, we're drifting apart because of my reckless actions. Hermione, I need you to forgive me. You're not worth giving up over a silly kiss. I miss our friendship, our conversations, everything. Please, Hermione. I'll do anything. _

_Sincerely yours,_

_Remus_

"That's so sweet," said Ginny, smiling at her friend as she handed Hermione the letter.

Hermione sighed and let loose a smile too. "Yeah, but I wasn't ready to give in just yet. I wanted to believe him, but how was I suppose to know he wouldn't do it again?"

"Because, Hermione, we both know Lupin didn't mean to. I mean, I know I wasn't there, but knowing Lupin he just made a mistake." said Harry. He couldn't help but defend Lupin in this case.

"Harry, will you please just listen?" said Hermione, frustrated.

"Sorry."

She rolled her eyes and continued on. "Well, like I said this was before we went back to Grimmauld Place for Christmas. I kept contemplating on what to do and what I should say, but I figured it would all come in good time. I didn't reply to him back, however. I wanted to keep him wondering," she smirked, "But I realized I couldn't keep my thoughts in much longer. I really wanted to see him and I couldn't wait to get to Grimmauld…"


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, so little side note for this chapter... Yes, I brought back the Time Turner, in an unexpected way. It's for a reason, so don't go bashing just yet ;) it's my story. I'll post chapter eight next week. Please review, they encourage me to continue in this story :) I love you guys! Thanks for being really supportive readers!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three years earlier…<strong>_

"I'm sorry I'm late."

Hermione looked up from her present. Remus Lupin was standing outside the kitchen. Even though she had seemed mad at him, she couldn't help but smile as he sat down at the table, sitting across from her. It was Christmas though, and she knew better than to be surprised that he was here.

Mrs. Weasley got up and rushed over to him, her usual motherly presence filling the air. "Remus! So glad you could make it. Here's your present dear," She placed a medium sized package in front of him and he smiled gently at her.

"Molly, you really didn't have to get me anything," he protested, but seemed to enjoy the present nonetheless.

Mrs. Weasley waved a hand at him. "Oh, pish posh, I'm more than happy to. Now, open it while I set out dinner." She left his side and proceeded to the front of the room.

Hermione stifled a giggle as he unwrapped it and revealed a knitted, mahogany sweater with the initials _RL _sewn in violet. "She always knew how to make things personal." he said, smirking at his gift. Hermione smiled at him.

"Want to see mine?" She held up a similar sweater, navy blue with the initials _HG _printed in pink. "At least we didn't get the vest," she nodded her head towards Ron who was now sporting a furry brown vest with his initials sewn on the chest. His face was as red as his hair.

Remus smiled, then took his tone down a bit further. "Listen, I'm sorry -"

"I got your letter. Its fine, Remus. But next time, keep a promise before you go and do something rash." She licked her dry lips cautiously, before shifting her gaze towards him again.

Remus smiled, "I promise."

Hermione opened her mouth to reply sharply back at him, but was interrupted as Sirius came in the kitchen. "Merry Christmas, everyone!"

Once again, the happy cheers from the Weasleys were reborn and Mrs. Weasley was edging her way past her children, eager to give Sirius his Christmas present. Hermione bowed her head, ignoring the amused looks from Remus. Sirius sat down in his usual spot at the end of the table, unwrapping his present but couldn't help but notice the tension between Remus and Hermione. It was almost suffocating.

"Where's Harry?" Mr. Weasley called from the other side of the table.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his ironically black knitted sweater with a silver SB on the front, then looked up at the other man on the complete opposite end. "He'll be here in a minute, Arthur. Just had to get a few things from Diagon Alley."

They all looked a little surprise that Sirius approved of Harry going to the Alley by himself, and just as Mrs. Weasley was about to scold him for being so careless, Harry had walked in with a huge bag of what looked like gifts, representing a scrawny, black haired Santa Clause. The bag looked very heavy as he sat it down in an empty chair with a loud thud.

Hermione knitted her eyebrows together. "Harry, what's all this?"

Harry grinned from ear to ear as everyone tried to figure out what exactly he had done. "Presents! I got them in town today for everyone… here you go, Ron… Mr. and Mrs. Weasley…" and just like that, Harry had begun handing out presents to everyone.

"Lupin…" He handed his ex-professor a rectangular shaped package that looked suspiciously like a book. "Sirius…" Something similar was placed in front of him, only this time it rattled, with something inside it. "And last but certainly, not least… Hermione." Harry smiled at his best friend as he handed her his gift. Hermione smiled graciously, looking around at what everyone else got before opening hers.

Fred and George got a deluxe package of Filibuster's fireworks along with a huge box of Pumpkin Pasties. Mr. Weasley got a Muggle CD player, along with several Muggle CD's, to add to his collection. Mrs. Weasley received Celestina Warbeck's latest album and an extravagant knitting kit so she could begin next year's sweaters.

Ron got an expensive sweets box with every wizard candy imaginable and a mini-Quidditch court the size of a large bowl, with tiny players, tiny balls (all enchanted to play by themselves) and little hoops the size of bubble wands. Ginny got a signed poster of her favorite Quidditch team, the Holyhead Harpies and a broomstick grooming set.

Sirius had gotten a complete set of smoking tobacco, with various flavors like vanilla and peach, some that spelled out words as you smoked them, some that can even let you swap voices with another smoker. It also came complete with a purple and silver hookah.

Remus was a little shocked once he opened his Christmas present. "_The Perfect Mate: A Werewolf's Guide to Making His Mark_? Harry is this some kind of joke?" He asked incredulously, crossed between anger and embarrassment. He watched as Harry laughed rather loudly at him along with a deep voiced Sirius, both giggling like schoolgirls.

Finally, their excessive laughing had deceased and Harry nodded his head, a smile still displaying on his lips. "I couldn't resist, Lupin. Sorry. Here's your real present…" he handed Lupin another gift and this time, it had been a package of the chocolate he often carried around with him, and the entire Sherlock Holmes collected works, a very popular Muggle detective series that even most wizards knew about. It was one of Remus's favorite books.

Hermione opened her gift last, and savored the moment as the familiar smell of leather hit her nose. Unwrapping all the paper, at last a huge grin had written itself upon her face. It was a special edition of her favorite book, _Hogwarts, A History, _and a photo album with a note taped to it that read: _Open later. _She looked up with a questioning look but the smile he had on his face told her not to worry. Along with this was a book cleaner kit, and Cauldron Cakes.

"Harry!" She suddenly exclaimed. Hermione got up from her chair and threw her arms around her best friend. "I love it! Thank you, so much!" She smelled his sweet musky scent, getting lost a little before pulling away and looking at him with complete awe.

Harry pushed a curl from out of her face before returning the look. He touched her briefly on the arm before sitting back down in his chair along with her.

The scene had been shown throughout the kitchen, little "awes" and "that's so sweet," whispering about the room. No one thought anything by it… no one except Remus.

He sat idly in his chair, watching Hermione's face change expression after expression. He wanted to tell her how cute she looked when she was confused and beautiful when she was angry, and gorgeous when she was in complete bliss and happiness… but knew it would be inappropriate. Instead, he kept quiet, trying not to let the jealousy show in his eyes as she hugged Harry tightly, her breasts pressing against his flat chest and hair cascading softly among her shoulders. He tried to hold himself back from pouncing across the table and throwing Harry against the wall, as the young wizard brushed his fingers across Hermione's face, putting a chestnut curl back in its' place. He tried to hide the glowing redness seeping in his veins.

But one person did notice, because as Remus found himself twitching slightly uncomfortably in his chair, and a fist tightly forming into a ball, he heard a small cough next to him, and it shocked him so much, he immediately turned his head at Sirius.

Looking regretfully, yet sympathetically at him, Sirius gestured toward the hand that was ready to give his godson a sucker-punch. "Careful, Remus."

Remus sighed, untwisting his fist and running a sweaty palm through his hair, realizing how ridiculous he was being. "Sorry," he mumbled quietly. But he knew he couldn't stay in the crowded kitchen anymore. Excusing himself from the table, claiming he needed some air, Remus left the others to their Christmas cheer as he climbed up the staircase and headed to his room.

* * *

><p>Hermione barely noticed anything, flipping through her fantastic, leather-bounded book. But it was almost as if a part of her had left the room when she looked up to notice that Remus was gone. She looked over at Sirius, hoping he would give an explanation, but he was too engrossed with his tobacco and a funny conversation with Fred and George, that he didn't even pay attention when Mrs. Weasley was trying to get everyone's attention to the carving of the Christmas turkey.<p>

She took this moment as an excuse to go and get Remus, but she knew it was really because she had to know what was on his mind. Ever since Harry had arrived it seemed like he was in some sort of daze, she couldn't work her way through. Grabbing her presents to stuff in her room along the way, Hermione left, heading upstairs first to see if he was in his room.

Laying her gifts down on her bed, Hermione dashed into the hallway and up the stairs to the third floor. There, immediately, she saw that his door was open. "Remus, we're about to start carving the turkey…" She called as she stopped in the door frame. Then, she furrowed her eyebrows together.

Apparently he hadn't heard her because Remus was still sitting at his desk, head in his hands. Hermione felt like she should make her presence noticeable, but she didn't say a word. Instead she stood there and watched him in her study mode.

Remus appeared stressed, and she could only venture a guess as to why. She had completely thrown herself at Harry, right in front of his eyes when she knew perfectly well what his feelings toward her were. But he should know better that her friendship with Harry would never be anything more. And surely he would have enough common sense as to realize this. It was obvious among the Weasleys, it was obvious among the Order… She just couldn't see how his feelings overcame his logic. It never did that to her.

That was a lie. Hermione thought back to the summer night they shared here, his lips pressing against hers. If she did have logic over emotions during that time, it would have never happened.

There was something about Remus's frustrated state that charmed her deeply. He was strongly going through denial, trying his best to keep things at an appropriate level and she couldn't be more pleased to see him try. But it hardened her heart, as if she was torn between the reason of her not being attractive to him, or simply because he didn't want to cause harm to the situation than what has already been damaged. She loved the way he was jealous of another man, she relished his rivalry and animalistic urges towards her.

Rushing her mind back to reality, Hermione focused on the big picture in front of her. She knocked softly against his door.

Remus looked up from his palms, face red, and immediately shot up from his chair. "Hermione! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there…"

"It's alright," she replied, smiling at him. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. I saw you walk out of the kitchen and it seemed as though something was bothering you."

He sighed, "It's fine, I'm over it." He looked uncertain, but Hermione kept her mouth shut. "Did you say something about the turkey?" Remus kindly changed the subject, and she noticed but played along.

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley was just getting ready to carve it. Are you coming?"

Remus nodded. "Of course… Wait!"

Hermione paused as she was getting ready to leave his room and watched as he searched around all over the place, obviously looking for something. What after seemed like hours, he finally retrieved a small looking package from under his bed. Remus blushed slightly and handed it to Hermione. "Merry Christmas! I hope you like it…"

She grinned widely at him. "Oh, Remus! You really didn't have to,"

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to." He returned the smile. "Now go on, open it."

She proceeded and unwrapped it delicately. It was a small, black wooden box and carefully, she lifted the lid up. Hermione let a small gasp slip out. "It's… a Time Turner!" She breathed, bewildered. "You remembered! Oh, Remus…" And just as she had done before with Harry, Hermione was now wrapping her arms around his neck and embracing him.

In her third year, Hermione was granted the benefits of having a Time Turner to take multiple classes. Unfortunately, Dumbledore had to take it from her and destroy it, removing it's memory of her and Harry saving Sirius. So the past year and a half her classes had decreased back to normal and Hermione felt completely useless without it. Now what was troubling her was how he got the money for it. She knew Remus wasn't exactly the richest man in the world - actually he was quite poor to be honest.

Her embrace released and she looked at him, then back to the Time Turner. "But, how did you…" she felt embarrassed to finish her sentence, but he seemed to understand what she was saying.

"Well, I can't pretend that it was no trouble getting it. However, with a few galleons from Harry, the last paycheck from Hogwarts that I had saved over, and of course approval from the Ministry and Dumbledore himself, I managed. Believe me, Hermione, it was completely worth it and I don't regret it."

Without thinking, Hermione had pressed her trembling lips to his cheek and whispered in his ear, "Thank you, Remus. I love it."

* * *

><p><strong>Review! :D<strong>


End file.
